Quote:

You {snap of the fingers}, are a lone reed.
You are a lone reed.
You are a lone reed standing tall waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce.

I am a lone reed.

Why does love always have to be a fairy tale, can't it just be a tale?

I have never been a big believer in love.

I hope for love. I just don't believe in it. (It's a good thing I don't feel about God the way I do about love).

Don't get me wrong I know that there is love out there, I just believe that love is something sought after, worked for, and a long time coming.

I do believe in the Grinch.











I believe that one's heart can grow. I can like someone, get along with them, realize that we are compatible, and be with them long enough to see that we go well together. Through this process my heart will grow to love someone.

I also believe that as long as there is some sort of attraction between the two of us and we both have the same goals for this life, that someone can be anyone.

Love at first sight is a bunch of crap. There is just no way.

I just saw the movie "500 days of summer" and I loved it.
It was a love tale. Not a fairy tale. It showed how two people could be in what looked like "love", have it not work out, and move on with life only to end up happier than when they thought they were "in love".

Could you leave someone who adored you? Imagine he was the perfect guy. He loved you, remembered the silly little facts you would say in passing, surprised you with those little facts when you least expected, was at your beckoning call, let you do things your way without complaining. . . Through all of this, you know he is amazing but aren't sure if there is someone else you could feel more for.

Could you leave him?
For the hope of someone else?

I am afraid that I would be too inamorated to think clearly. Or to analyze the thought of someone else. He is so perfect. There can't be someone better. Why give him up and then end up alone?

Then, you have to think; if you never analyzed or worried about if this was TRUE love, then you wouldn't be sad to miss out on something else. You will never realize you are missing out.

Hmm, so through my thought process, it seems like if you marry someone thinking you're in love but there is someone else out there who could have made you happier, it wouldn't matter. You would never miss out if you put your whole heart into your relationship. Your heart would grow. Your initial size would possibly be smaller than with Mr. Perfect but the end size only depends on how willing you are to let your heart grow.

Just believe, in other words.

I need to fall into some riches!!!

When I was in the ninth grade, one of my teachers told a story of a teenager who wrote down a list of one hundred goals. I don't remember his point to the story, however, I do remember that afterwards he said "I was so impressed that this kid could come up with so many goals, I don't think I know any teenager who could do that."

I am always one to take up a challenge, so that night I went home and wrote down more than one hundred goals just to out do that kid in the story.

Chelsie's Life Goals (not in any particular order:

• Take a calligraphy class
• Continue playing the flute during all 4 years of high school
• Read all the scriptures cover to cover with no interruptions; (not in one sitting, just without backtracking.)
  
• Save money to buy a car
• Do Family history work
• Get a job
• Always be a conscious saver (of money)
• Go through the temple
• Obtain a college degree
• Stay friends with Lindsay and Alicia
  

• Frequent the temple often
• Serve a mission
• Go to Rome and see the Sistine chapel.
• Always remain an active member of the church
• Go to Italy
• Go to Egypt and see the pyramids
  
• See an original work of Michael Angelo
  
• Go to the Tokyo temple
• Finish an entire scrapbook
• Enter and win a contest

• Get married in the temple
• Have children {remember I was in ninth grade...}
• Go to the Prom
• Visit at least 100 temples
• Play the flute in front of a lot of people (not in a band)
• Get an "A" in biology
• Learn to drive
• Donate to a children's charity
• Always remember my mom on her birthday
• Teach kids the gospel

• Have my own business
• Always be a supporter for people
  
• Never do anything to gain peoples distrust
• Get my Young woman's medallion
  
• Learn at least on song on the piano
• Learn and enjoy to play a sport
• Be an aunt
• Enjoy watching conference
• Learn to notice the Holy Spirit more
• Don't judge so easily

• Get a good tan
• Become friends, not just sisters, with Hannah
• Complete High School
• Be in a play
• Learn a bit of Spanish
• Become a fast typer
• Read the Ensign
• Become a home owner
• Be a grandma
  
• Never do drugs {I laughed at this one!}

• Always pay tithing
• Be a young woman's leader {Oh I had the foresight so long ago!!!}
• Serve in the relief society
• Be a primary teacher
• Do baptisms for the dead for some of my own relatives
• Live in a different state
• Live in a different country
• Large or small, invent something
• Write a song
• Write a book

• Get a masters degree {this was before I actually knew what college was like...}
• Give a talk at a fireside
• Bowl a game above 100
• Don't drink
• Don't smoke {I think I was stretching...}
• Write a teacher I had as a child.
• Have a story in a magazine
• Get family photos taken regularly
  
• Plant and keep a good garden
• Find my best talent

• Give a whole paycheck away to someone in need
• Attend all of my child(ren)'s functions (plays, games, concerts...)
• Go to Jerusalem
• Go on a field trip with children {wow, I didn't realize I thought about children so much}
• Cross stitch something
• Become a good seamstress
• Make a quilt
• Feed a baby zoo animal (zoo is included to exclude dogs or cats)
• Read the scriptures every day
• Always say morning and night prayers

• See a play in New York
• Eat in a fancy restaurant in New York
• Go to a talk show in real life
• Volunteer at a hospital
• Sub for a seminary class
• get laser eye surgery
• See conference in person
• Make a habit of making my bed every morning
• Learn to cook really good
• Take singing lessons

• take a pottery class
• learn to draw, take a class
• Have my own room and decorate it cute
• Make my parents proud
• Help restore someones faith
• Be at all siblings weddings (the only excuse is if I am out of the country or in childbirth)
• Visit Grandpa Jack and Grandpa Farnsworth's graves
• Go to Disney world
• Pay baby-sitters good
• Arrange some flowers in a beautiful arrangement

• Go to Washington DC
• Scuba dive
• Parasail
• Skydiving
• Go to Nauvoo

And there are more...

My little ninth grade mind was so weird, I came up with some pretty weird things but I am excited to one day do all of these things. I am surprised with how many of them I have already done.

My un-love story

It all happened one sunny afternoon at my nanny's house.
I loved the nanny. We had many parts of the day; reading, playing, disney movie time, then (my favorite) Popsicle time!!! One fateful day, I got my first kiss.

Just like every other friday, I picked out the blue otter pop (because why eat any other flavor?) and went out side to play with the other kids. Some of the boys started making fun of me (who knows why, probably I had an accident {I tend to have those a lot and not even just as a child...}). In order to avoid the mocking, I went and hid under the trampoline.

Durring my crying session, I was joined by the most amazing little boy. He joined me, quieted me from my tears and reassured me that all those boys are jurks and to just let it go, then he leaned in and kissed me!!! (Mind you, I was probably 6 or 7 so my memories could be scewed a bit).

Getting a little closer to my point, that was the moment I realizezd that I COULD love. I now knew what love was. Someone carring about you enough to dry your tears and reassure you that all men are jerks, that is love.

It only took a few days for me to realize: love it may be, but not true love. You see, he ignored me from then on out and denied ever kissing me to all the guys. So, the only logical conclusion a six year old could make was, never feel love and never get hurt.

I came to that conclusion when I was six. 17 years ago I learned that it is better to not love someone than to love them and have them hurt you. I have tried hard to live by that rule my whole life. However, there have been times when I have let my guard fall. This happened because I did not find out at such a young age if it were necessary to apply this rule to both romantic and non romantic friends.

That is something that was learned over and over again all through elementary school, highshchool, on the mission, and afterwards.

Finally getting to my point; don't doubt yourself or the advice your six-year-old self gives you.