Monday, September 22, 2008

I've Been Sleeping Around and I'm NOT Proud of it

How am I going to tell my bed I cheated on her? My bed has been everything to me. Reliable to the core. She doesn't deserve something like this. We've been together for 7 years and for 18 months she faithfully waited for me and at my arrival she was just as she was the day I left her. Knowing I would be back asking forgiveness she waited 18 long months. I wasn't at all faithful at that time, i was sleeping in a new bed every 6 weeks. But we were separated at the time so it was to be expected. But now, there is no excuse. I have cheated on her and she deserves better.

I am a coward. That is what it comes down to. The first night we were faced with a small challenge, I bolted for the door. The air conditioning went out. She didn't do anything to deserve to be deserted however, those outside influences can always work there magic on a relationship. Not willing to work things out, I left. I went to the first option that came along.


Retro lives in my brothers apartment. He is unattractive, insensitive (hard), and a complete mistake. So, I decided to take a little more action and get something "better".


Ridge usually keeps to himself nice and snug in a closet. He wanted an adventure and I was in the the position to be easily loured in, so I stayed one night with him. How could anyone sleep one something with as many ridges as that? Not me. That was the worst one night stand of my life. I didn't sleep at all. Which made for drastic measures the following night.


A good friend of mine was willing to give up her bed so that I could have a good nights rest. This was an utterly selfless thing of her to do. And Barbara treated me really well. In fact too well. I couldn't let myself steal her away from her owner. I am human after all, I felt guilty for kicking someone else out of their haven. Guilt ridden, I was guided to a home. A boarding home for those without air conditioning.

There, I found a wonderful night buddy that I get along perfectly with. He is so good to me. And we both know upfront what the expectations of the relationship are. Mainly that it is short term and I will soon be going back to the one I've left. This is perfect for him and perfect for me. I have air and a soft bed and he has company. What a perfect match!!!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I'm a Hopeless Romantic who Doesn't Believe in Love

You ask yourselves "how can that even be possible?" Well, I don't know how in the world it happened but it did. I am freak of nature.

Let's define a hopeless romantic:

  • One who reads ridiculous amounts of sappy romance novels, which all have utterly the same story line; however, one still gets sucked in and loves every couple that happily ends up together.

  • One who watches Grey's Anatomy till 3 in the morning and cries through the last episode because after a marriage of 40 years, a husband dies to leave his wife alone.

  • One who has a dream wedding all thought out, flowers, dresses, music, and even the only ring one would ever settle for already picked out. I'm talking the whole nine yards.

  • One who's mentality is that to be "grown up" one must be married and/or have children.

  • One who dies on the inside with the thought of losing a loved one. Namely a future husband or child.

  • One who watches chick flick after chick flick, only to be left depressed at how cute "they" are together.

  • One who reads Hearts in Hiding yearly.

OK OK OK!!! Enough of that mush,

Let's define one who doesn't believe in love:

  • One who can only see disaster when imagining a relationship.

  • One who believes it is foolish to run into some marriage because "I love him". (People are so full of it when they say that!! What do they even mean "I love him?" It can only mean: "until now, I have never felt like this and I guess it would be good to keep on feeling like this so I will get myself into an eternal bind with this person that I have known for all of two weeks." BULL ____!!!! I don't buy it!)

  • One who thinks a reception is just a waist of time and celebrating all the wrong things when it comes to a marriage. (I am the one getting married, you should be throwing me a party giving me food, not me spending my life savings so you can eat all you want, bring your annoying children to make a mess, and "make it up to me" by leaving me a target gift card. You keep your present, I'll keep my thousands of dollars, and we'll call it even.)

  • One who calls children "things."

  • One who has dreams galore that can only be fulfilled single.

  • One who is surrounded by newly wed best friends and is left grasping for any shred of desire to have what they have only to realize there isn't even the thought of a shred.

  • One who gets utterly upset when one hears "women can't do _____ alone" or "you'll need a guy to help you . . . " or "I'll just marry someone rich so I can . . ." (NO, yes I am just a woman with out a man by my side, but I can do anything I want to do. Just because I am not married, it won't keep me from the things I dream of.)

Many aspects from each definitions are part of my daily internal thought process. How is it possible to be a hopeless romantic that doesn't believe in love? I don't know, it just happens.

Friday, September 12, 2008

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."

Having to make a compromise with my beloved mother, I cannot decorate the house to create the yuletide ambiance, until November 1st, 9am mountain standard time. This puts a rather large damper in my Christmas spirit. You see, the last Christmas I was at home, I decorated before Halloween and loved it. Having had such a great experience I was planning the same for this first Christmas back home. I guess my mom has her reasons for not wanting the trick-or-treaters to see our Christmas tree and Christmas lights on all hallows eve. In all, I guess it is better because there will be a bridal shower at our house in October and the black and white theme would be thrown off a little with the large portrait of Ol' St. Nick.

I am starting though to listen to my Christmas albums, no body can stop me from that.

I only wish that it would get cooler. Then, It would really be like Christmas.

I was living in Brasil untill June of this year and the seasons are opposite there. So, it was starting to cool down a little (Sao paulo never really gets cold, at least where I was) a month or so before I moved back to Arizona. Everyone around me would make fun of me because I was always singing Christmas songs. I love Christmas time!!! Inevitably, due to the cold in may and June my Christmas schedule has been thrown off with my litte Christmas itch never giving up.

Today at Sam's Club, (a rival to COSTCO) they had a bunch of Christmas ornaments up and I got all giddy. Oh how I love that song, "giddy up, giddy up giddy up let's go. Let's go to the show..." eeeeeeee, really I can't describe how happy I am that Christmas is only one hundred and four days away. I should go to Canada this Christmas time so that I can see snow. It is about time I see snow fall from the sky.
(If I could make this post a scratch-n-sniff, it would have this scent. MMMMMM)

I can't even think rationally now that I have Santa, the reindeer, cider, eggnog, pumpkin pie, pine tree scent, cinnamon, brightly colored streets, cheerful music, and those wonderful "chime, chime, chime" bells that are in front of every store asking for change for some donation bank (united way?) on my mind. Oh, tis the season.

"A Marry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night!!!!"

Saturday, September 6, 2008

A travel log:
Fort Stockton vs Indio


Recently I went on a road trip to Texas. There and back in three days. It was amazing. It was a weekend full of discoveries. The most important being the discovery of Heroes; however, the discoveries didn't start nor stop at that. On the way to our destination we became famished and so was Stella, she was completely depleted of fuel.With the use of a bright green sign, the highway informed us of an up coming town...

"FORT STOCKTON next right."

Gullible as two girls who have been driving all day (and a sleeping Brandon in the back seat)can be we drove right into the Twilight Zone. The first three gas stations we passed were abandoned. How does that even happen when you are located off of a busy highway and with gas prices as absurd as they are? Finally, seconds before the last drop of fuel was used, we found a functioning gas station.

We filled Stella to her max and then set off in search for the toco bell that was advertised on a bright blue highway sign. We searched and searched and searched for that place only to discover an abandoned caboose!!! Not to be let down, we took advantage of a bad situation by taking pictures. These pictures involved safari hats and a side of Brandon that I had never seen before. We also met some amazing ladies (come to think of it, they just showed up out of no where. I bet they were witches!!!!) who took our pictures in return for a safari hat of their own.

Once the taco bell was found, we soon discovered that it was closed. What time were we going through Fort Stockton? 7:30 P.M., that's when. What taco bell closes that early? Holding onto our nerves we drove to our next choice: Sonic. Spairing you the long dreadful details, we left 45 minutes later without food and without patience. We had been "soniced". Leaving the largest fast food restaraunt as our last and only option.

Fort Stockton will never be forgotten.
Not for it's amazing quaintness or insainly nice citizans, but for it's taco bell and sonic. What a legand!!


This weekend, I was on yet another road trip with my sister, going to California. We were in a similar situation, needing to go pee that is. So we see a sign for a city "Indio". (What does it even mean?) It looked like a small town from the highway but we could see the clear signs of a target in the not to far distance, so we decided to give the city a chance.

We couldn't have bee more wrong!!! We parked at the target, pretty far back because it was packed with cars, and walked to the front door. There was a greeter at the door.

My thought, "I don't remember Target having greeters."
Greeter, "Oh are you guys here to come to target?"
Thought, "Since this is the only place in sight, we are obviously headed to the closest Pottery Barn!! MORON!!"
Me, "yes indeed, right here to target. The happiest place on Earth."
Greeter, "This target isn't open yet, it won't be until October."
Thought, "What the heck are all these cars doing here?"
Me, "well, then do you know where I can find someplace with a bathroom?"
Greeter, "There's a gas station up the road."
Thought, "Well, that wasn't a complete loss, we do need gas too. I'll just kill two birds with one stone."

We soon found the gas station closest to the target. And no sooner did we find out that there were no gas pumps, nor a bathroom.

Thought, "I won't be killing one or two birds but I if I stay here any longer, I'll kill myself."

To make things worse, we got back on the highway to a different part of Indio, not giving up yet, and went to a different gas station. Still no bathroom, but they did have gas. The sign said 3.97 which in and of it's self is absurd but then as I was about to pull the trigger on the nozzle, the actual pup's sign said 4.49 (there would be a photo of that too, but it turned out fuzzy and I refuse to post it). Not joking around anymore, I sent my sister in to ask for my money back (since I knew I had depleted my tolerance for morons) and we left Indio still needing gas and still needing to relieve our little bladders.

Needless to say, I am having a hard time deciding which city was worse; Fort Stockton or Indio?

I guess it doesn't matter any more, I just never want to be caught in either one of them again.

Save yourselves the trouble on your next road trips and steer clear of Fort Stockton and Indio.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Who am I?

Stephen Covey has left me contemplating my life a lot lately. One thing that he has helped me to do, is identify my roles.

Who am I?
What are the roles that I will have in my life as Chelsie Akers?

I am a:

and Mother.

These are my roles. I am (or will be) these things. So what do I hope to accomplish with each of these roles?

Daughter- I will make my parents proud of who I have become. I will always have their trust. I will some day some how pay them back for all they have done for me; financially and physically.

Sister- Our relationship will strengthen with every passing day. We will learn from each other. We will each have active roles in each others lives throughout adulthood.

Friend- They will always rely on me. I will be a confidant to each of them. We will always have adventures to bring us close when we drift apart.

Traveler- I will see all 50 states in the United States of America. I will never turn down an opportunity to travel and get to know a new culture. Traveling will never leave my life.

Student- I will get a 4 year degree from college. I will continue learning throughout my whole life. I will learn from all situations earning an education through life not just a university.

Employee- I will only work where I am happy. I will work to grow, gain experiences, and have fun. I will give my all time best at everything possible in order to maintain my dignity.

Wife- When the Lord forces me, say "yes".

Mother- I will "multiply and replenish the Earth", someday...maybe.

This is who I think I am, but could that really be all I am? And can I really accomplish all of these things?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

"New York City

center of the universe. Times are [crappy], but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse..."

So much so that I could never put an apple in place of the word Love.
I do not apple NY, I LOVE NY.

I have been only three times in my short life and have another trip schedu
led. (Sadly enough not until 2010, remember, I'm POOR POOR POOR!) Each of these three experiences changed my life. The first time I went was right out of High School with Lindsay and Rhonda. It was amazing. everything I had always dreamed of, well ok, a little stinkier than I had dreampt of. At that time also, I was poor. (not POOR POOR POOR, just poor). So, I did everything in my power to make the trip as frugal as possible. So, we stayed in a Hostel.

To those of you who may not know what a hostel is, let me change your life. It is like a dorm or a homeless shelter. Instead of renting a room with a bathroom and a little fridge, you rent a bed. Depending on the Hostel this bed can be in an all girls room or it can be in a co-ed room. It can have a bathroom and/or sink in each room or only one per floor. There are really a billion different varieties. They are all over, i also stayed in one when i was in New Zealand and one in London. The cheap traveler doesn't need accommodations just a bed.

My second trip to NY was just a few short years later after I was employed with US Airways. So the trip was FREE FREE FREE. well, the air fair was at least. At two months at the job I had my free benefits but no buddie passes. So i decided to go ALONE. I was 19 and discovering my self and my nerves. I bought two tickets off line to see Three Days of Rain starring Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper. I had to get two because they only came in twos. Which inevitably lead to me fulfilling a life long goal: scalp a ticket. I, Chelsie Akers, scalped a ticket to a play in New York City. Which is scary when you realize that i would be sitting next to the guy i sold the ticket to. (He wasn't a creap, just a typical man. He had no idea what was going on in the play so I had to explain always what was going on. If you don't get theater, don't go!)

I flew in on a red-eye and later that same day was the play. The play ended about mid-night and being a pro at the NY subway system I got the the airport fast as can be; however, my return flight didn't leave till 5am (and it was overbooked, not good for a non-rev). Not wanting to pay, for just a few hours at a hostel I decided to wait it out at the airport. Little did I know that all the terminals don't stay open 24/7. So i had to search for one that did. Once I found a terminal that wouldn't kick me out, i found a nice cozy nitch and took a nap. No one showed up for that 5 am flight so i not only got on, I got first class for the first time, also a life goal!!!

The last time I went to NY it was also an adventure. I found an agency that rents out apartments by the week. So, I got a group of 12 together and we split the rent and stayed about 6 days right in the heart of NY. This trip was also monumental. I rode on a horse drawn carriage in central park, crossing that off my life goal list. Also, Camille and I took a day trip to Hoboken NJ, crossing one more state off the list. And I ate at a "fancy" restaurant dressed up nice in order to cross that too off the list.

Along with being a fan of NY I am also a die hard fan of RENT. Also known as a "rent head". Without having to say it, my favorite parts of the trip all are tied to RENT. We saw it live on Broadway, I think it was 4th row!! Then, on the way back a good friend of mine, Adrian, acted a scene out for all of us on the subway. Sorry that this is sideways, but it is the best I can do.

(The good stuff starts at 40 seconds)